From the patient's side...

Well, here I am, back and with the intention of being back for a while!
Stress is over, school's out and I have nothing but summer ahead...
And loads, and I mean LOADS, of time to look around and get inspired for new blog posts. Goodness knows how much I have missed writing...

So here goes, my first post in way too long!

I have just arrived home from a short stay at the hospital... Just a few hours, from 7.30am till 6pm. I had a little procedure done, nothing serious or worrying at all but best for my health, I suppose.
"Normal" people wouldn't worry about stuff like this, "normal" people would laugh about the procedure and "normal" people probably wouldn't even notice the needle...

But I'm not NORMAL and I am a needle phobic.

So I stressed about this for the past 6 months, stressed to a level that affected my studies, my life and my relationships.
Don't take me wrong, a few more things came with the needle phobia that were heavy stressors, but definitely that didn't help!

However, me being me, I always look for the bright side of the situation and this had to be that I got to see "the other side" of my profession, the patient side...

It's all good to power through procedures, paperwork, explanations, drugs, observations and clinical notes when you're a medic... So easily forgetting that what is pure routine, daily bread and butter for you is actually a possibly distressing, very rare event in somebody else's life.

Today was my turn... I did experience all aspects of the journey and every single one of them taught me something.

I do see now why support is the key to success.
I had my brother with me and that made a big difference in the way I was feeling. As brave as one tries to be, having a loving familiar face around truly gives the surroundings a brighter hue.

The waiting room was nice and inviting and the group of us all having to get the same thing done smiled at each other with some sort of understanding.

Once in the ward privacy was assured around each bed and the surgeon and anaesthetist came around to say hi and ask a few questions.

I had seen the surgeon a few times before getting to this point and seeing his smiling, reassuring face was definitely a high of the morning. Not like I really thought that morning had any highs at all, seen my fear, but at least I was sure he knew what he was about to do and that made me feel a heck of a lot better!

Then was the turn of the anesthetist to whom I told about my extreme fear of needles and he said he could actually put me on general gas anaesthesia and then put the needle in once I was "over the edge".
It took me a while to assimilate the concept of "over the edge", imagining all sort of things ranging from extremely scary to hysterically funny but what I can tell you is that, after finding out that I wouldn't even see a needle, my pressure dropped down to normal from a very worrying high!
Now it makes so much sense when I learn in class that stress can lead to some serious problems.
I have experienced it, I'll remember when I deal with my patients.

The staff in the ward was amazing, to the point that when I said I was freezing they got me under the covers and hooked up to a warming machine... I didn't even know such thing existed but it did me a world of good (even if I could only stay in this cocoon for 5 minutes as my turn arrived for surgery).

The trip to theatre was sweet, with a nurse holding me. There is no written rule about it besides understanding what the patient wants. I needed protection, she offered me hers... and I was grateful.

The anaesthesia room all of a sudden was huge! But it is only huge when seeing it from lying on a trolley cot. I have been in several ones as a staff member... oh how the perspective changes totally when you're the patient!
You notice the bleeps of the machines, the different drug vials laying in order the counter, you notice the typical smell, that of iodine, that always lingers in this area, the tubes of the machines, the cotton balls, the tape that you already know will end up on your eye lids, you notice that there are so many people around you... too many!!!
I'll remember this as well... too much of a crowd is unsettling and for a little bit I felt like that...

So I loved the anaesthetist humour teaching me how to get high (though in this case I should say low!) on gases. I felt like a kid... "Let's play a game Dona, breathe in, hold your breath... the longer you hold it, the sooner you'll fly!" Fly??? Where?? Off the trolley... He smiled at me and then I heard the noise fade and everything went fuzzy, the world was all of a sudden gentle and about two seconds later I felt the so distinctive pressure of the blood pressure machine's cuff tightening around my arm... Surely I shouldn't be awake enough to feel that...

...Oh but I should!!! Because almost 3 hours have passed from when I walked down to theatre, I've been out of there for 8 minutes and apparently, while still half asleep, I managed to ask for some chocolate cake to be brought in just for me... Not once, not twice but three awesome times!!!
If it wasn't that the word "shame" rarely features in my vocabulary, this would have been the perfect moment to experience it... too bad it just isn't me!!!
I was back up in the ward about 20 minutes later, much sooner that they expected me to be. I'm sure that's thanks to all the loving prayers my friends have said for me in the past weeks. I surprised everybody with an incredible speedy recovery from the anaesthetic, I drank, I ate and I walked in a way that is hardly seen after surgery so I'm thankful to everyone... God is exceptionally good to me!

The nurses were so caring, bordering motherly and eventually I did get my chocolate. Though it wasn't cake I had about 5 squares of deliciously filled blocks and just sat on the bed to enjoy the virtual cuddles coming in from my friends through phone messages. Technology can be such a blessing!

I peaked under the night gown to see if the surgeon was a liar such as the nurse promising me the heparin injection in my tummy would just be a little scratch and instead had me screaming from pain and then bent for the next 20 minutes from the burning...
The surgeon promised me he wouldn't leave a scar... I looked... He didn't lie! Hero!!!
I remember one of the first things I heard him telling me was "If a surgeon is not vain about his work than run!" Man was I happy to have him as my own personal guardian angel...
There is absolutely nothing that can be seen, not even a dressing, I only have a tiny steri-strip looking back at me disappointed as I'm not taking it too seriously!!! In retrospective, it was doing its job properly and still is...

One other thing that was engraved in my head today is that patients want to be told the truth. and whatever you say can indeed be "used against you" in any further conversation.
Tell the truth, don't sugar coat it... be empathetic AT ALL TIMES but don't tell only half the truth. The nurse said the injection wouldn't hurt, she said it knowing very well that heparin burns a lot, and it was agony (well, agony for me!)... Not fair towards the patient... A little scratch doesn't cut it, I'm not a kid! Anybody would appreciate "this will burn a bit" rather than a lie, at least you're mentally prepared... don't end up jumping on the chair, especially after I told her how afraid I was of needles!
Routine sayings should be abolished! Some injections are a little scratch, some are hell, man up and say it!!!

Though, in the name of fairness, I also have to admit that the ward was full, she was really busy, I was most probably a little pain in the rear side and she was superb in anything else from walking me to theatre, checking on me constantly and getting me chocolate!
Because of this she's forgiven... and to be honest, it would be lovely to have her by my side should anything else happen to me.

This could have been a very bad experience but it wasn't and it's all thanks to the amazing staff that took care of me, every single one of them.
And that's the sort of doctor I would like to become one day, one able to encompass all the caring qualities I've been shown by everyone today.

Anyway, on the way home my brother Dani and I stopped at Blockbuster because I have been saying since when the academic year stared that, during my long summer break I would have finally caught up with movies, TV series and -after all the hard work- just mindless activities for a while.
... and since I'm forced to be under "house arrests", legally well drugged up for a few days, I guess the 20 books I still have to read and the 6 DVDs I got are going to be my time fillers! :-))

Well, I've had a few interesting weeks running up to today so I know how it feels to be stressed and a bit powerless... I've had a very enlightening day in regards to what are the annoying and reassuring bits of a surgical procedure so I can safely say that, after having been "on the other side", I definitely know this was an experience worth living for the priceless learning aspect of it! I'm sure this will make me just that little bit more of a better doctor in the future...

And this, my dear communication skills lecturers, makes for an amazing piece of reflective writing!!!